Month: December 2014

  • Preparing For Christmas


    William decided that we should support the Boy Scouts and get our tree from them rather than attempting to hike around the tree farm, as my brace is still on my leg. (Ortho appointment next week!) So we did. I can still take an awfully long time finding The Perfect Tree, even in a lot with a much smaller selection. Tradition has it that tree hunting day must be wickedly cold, preferably with some sort of precipitation, but we broke with tradition there too. (Is this what getting old looks like?!)

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    I wandered around the river bank as the kind Boy Scout tied the tree to the top of our car.


    This is The Fox River in Batavia, Illinois.


    We decided the tree needed to go up on a chest again this year due to our rambunctious 5 month old puppy, Cupcake. ;)


    It doesn't show up well in this photo, but I added a string of purple lights (and many purple ornaments) to the tree. It makes me happy and is my way of including Dylan. Eldest son, Wayne, will be coming next week and will stay through the holidays. Son, Justin, will set the ramp up for him again and install some extra handles on a couple of doors to make it easier for Wayne to get in and out and reach to close doors behind him.

    I wrapped presents today and planned the Christmas menu. I'm cooking a traditional German dinner this year and have already ordered the meat from the butcher. It's always so nice to have the "kids" home, though the absence of one is always felt by everyone when we are all together. Still, I'm getting excited.

  • The Biannual Creeping Crud

    I'm glad I have started writing on xanga again, though I'm not yet certain what direction to take my blog.

    For now we're not doing any traveling.

    The holidays are coming entirely too quickly.

    I've been laid up with bronchitis and a knee in a brace, and I don't want to be whiney. :)

    When I'm run down with illness and can't keep busy enough I start to feel sorry for myself. That's taken the form of tears as I'm so much more emotional. While it's been four years and two months since Dylan died, it will be our 5th Christmas without him. When I logged into facebook this morning, I found this written (she gave me permission to share) by one of his friends:


    "The past couple months I've been having very strange and very lucid dreams, many of which I am in what seems to be different realms outside the walls of reality.

    Last night I had a dream and in my mind I somehow knew I was in the past. It wasn't a memory of mine, yet I knew it was the past. I don't recall who was driving or where our destination was, but we were passing a house with a group of people sitting outside smoking cigarettes and talking. I saw John Thomas's face and I think you may have been there too, Arielle Modlin. I excitedly yelled to the driver to stop the car and from the passenger side I asked John if Dylan was there. John seemed excited and happy too. He said, "ya, Dylan is here" and he pointed to the front window of the house. I could see Dylan inside. When he came outside, I ran over to him and I squeezed his hands in mine, just to make sure he was real. Dylan smiled and let out a little laugh; his contagious laugh that i'll always remember. He said something funny about my hands, but all I could do was wrap my arms around him and say, "you're here". He replied, still smiling, "ya, I'm here".

    All I remember after that was thinking how amazing this moment was and how badly I wanted to share this feeling of Dylan's presence with his family and friends... I remember wanting to cry tears of joy. I woke up shortly after.

    I am not one to say what any of this means, but regardless, it was so amazing to feel his presence again. It really felt as if he was right in front of me. I'll take miracles where I can get them. Always thinking of you and praying for you, Dylan."

    Although it made me cry, they were good tears. It is always wonderful to hear from others that they remember him, miss him, loved him too.


    We have a new puppy, with all the fun and mischief puppies bring. As soon as I am feeling better I will post some pictures.