January 17, 2016
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Getting Started
So, I need to put this right out there: this isn't going to be a feel good, travel and flowers kind of blog. I have done that here in the past, maybe will again in the future, but for now I need to write as a form of therapy and Facebook isn't meeting my needs for that at the moment. Please know that you do not have to comment on my entries. It's okay!
Where have all these friends gone? It's so easy to get sucked up into one's own life, I'm guilty of it too, and to have no time or patience for those who are struggling. I hope I haven't thrown out an empty "call if you need anything" only to disappear when desperately needed.
I'm not truly surprised really. My friends are probably war weary from dealing with me through my life's crises. First my eldest son's accident and paralysis. Then years of his drug addiction, followed by his brother's. My youngest son's death. My husband's illness and subsequent death. And through it all, supporting me and my emotional highs and lows.
I'm feeling dreadfully alone lately, but it could just be because I Am Alone. While I no longer look for my husband so that I can tell him such and such, I do still come across times when my first thought is to tell him. I do think coping with loneliness is something I am capable of doing with a little more time. It's actually not the worst thing on my list right now.
Sundays have historically been good days in the Fall and Winter. Mornings of politics followed by afternoons of football and evenings of watching 2 of the few shows I actually watch real time rather than Netflix bingeing. Binging? My football team, of course, didn't make the playoffs, so without a pony in the race, football has lost its allure for the year. Now I'll only watch the Super Bowl.
I am taking part in the 2016 reading challenge, so I'll spend some time this afternoon with my current book, The Things They Carried, by Tim O'Brien.
Comments (8)
My mother went through a struggle with loneliness after my father passed. She finally decided to reach out to her friends instead of waiting for them to call her. She found out that they didn't want to intrude so as soon as she contacted them she was socially active again... What team were you cheering for?
@murisopsis: thank you, Murisopsis. I'm a Bears fan. :insert wince:
@murisopsis: also, not only am I an introvert, but I have a pretty disabling anxiety disorder that really picked up steam after my son's death. I guess that's another story for another day. Btw, my name is Chriss.
@Wissh: We are Bears fans too! I'm an introvert at heart but I've overcome it as I've gotten older. I still prefer a quiet evening home. My name is Val.
I don't have a pony in the race either---the 49nrs have not done well. Lol
Sorry you feel alone and you have been through a great deal. I guess some things do take time.
Blesssings
Frank
@HUMOR_ME_NOW: thanks Frank, yes, I have found that they take time and work! I did a great deal of grief work after my son's death and didn't think it was necessary now, but I think I was wrong.
@Wissh: wishing you the best!!
I just wish I didn't have so many irons in the fire ~ would rather just have time to read a good book on the couch for the month of January!
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