January 25, 2016

  • Two Months of Widowhood

    When I'm not cleaning, reading or binge watching something, I'm still not getting anything accomplished. Wm had 3 rooms he laid claim to. His office was dismantled while he was still here. His "hobby room" is really just a tiny attic space packed full of boxes. I'm inclined to just start a Bagster and pitch everything, but my conscience won't let me. Minimally, I need to go through each box and make a decision: pitch, donate, sell, or save. I have a feeling the Bagster will still end up full.

    There's at least an entire box full of model cars.

    There's an entire box full of his framed licenses and certificates. They used to take up a whole wall of his office. He always said he looked good on paper. I have actually spent a lot of time contemplating them. One works so hard to earn diplomas, etc, then once you're gone....someone throws them away? It seems wrong to do that, but what else would I do with them?

    There are at least several boxes of cords that even he didn't know what they belonged to, always sure once he threw one out he'd find a need for it. Which of course never happened. He'd buy a new one which is why there are boxes full.

    There are at least 2 desk top and 6 laptop computers!

    There are boxes and boxes of paperwork. Taxes of course, but what else does anyone save for years and move from house to house?

    There are boxes of electronics.

    There are boxes of medical equipment.

    There are endless boxes of miscellaneous stuff.

    All in that one tiny room, where he kept putting it because it made me crazy to have it anywhere else.


    Originally he was going to paint in that room. Architects are usually also artists. We have a few of his paintings left. I will keep a couple, one son has a few that he chose, the rest will be given to his nieces.


    Then there's his bedroom to finish.  Almost immediately after he died I started cleaning out his room. Maybe even too soon, but the hospital bed was being picked up, so I just worked on the rest of the medical stuff and moved on from there. I remember doing the same thing when Dylan died, going through his things too soon  like having order in that room will somehow ease the pain, the loss. How silly. It's not even that I know better this time, after all, it's 2 months today, but every time I go in there to finish working, I sort of walk around in circles then walk back out and close the door.

    Maybe tomorrow....?

Comments (5)

  • My husband is a packrat. He like to save boxes - just in case he needs to send something back. The TV is 10 years old and we still have the box. I think it is time to recycle some of the boxes! I didn't realize that William passed away so recently. Two months is barely any time at all. It is one of the most difficult tasks to sort through those things. I don't know when it will be the right time - I'm sure you will know when that time comes. Hugs!

  • @murisopsis: William was more of a pack rat when we had a bigger house. We moved here three years ago and much was disposed of rather than schlepped to the new place. He might have started gathering again but he became ill and had to stop working and driving. Now it's just those two areas to get through. You're right, all in due time.

  • Yes, two months is not long. A girl friend called my wife and her husband recently died. She was quickly making many changes.

    Sorry you are going through this, but it is a reality of life none of us enjoy. I wish you well..

  • Would his nieces like to pick one of his diplomas as a keepsake too? But yeah, other than that, not sure what to do with them besides throw them out. I actually already feel that way about my own papers. lol

    • Already his immediate family is not in touch. Never heard a word from any of them. The two nieces I'm in touch with are through his first marriage.

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