March 25, 2016
Let's see, what can I bore us all with today? Hm? My CT scan was this morning. I was to sit in the waiting room and drink a huge styrofoam cup full of contrast for the test. It was gross to start with, but by the time I managed to get half way down it is getting pretty difficult. By three-quarters of the way down I was starting to feel sick. Luckily the technician either took pity on me or I was never meant to drink the whole thing, but she said I didn't need to finish. She took me into the CT room and the whole thing was over in 15 minutes. This afternoon I'm feeling a bit headachy, probably just coincidental.
On my mind mostly is actually not to upcoming Oncology appointment, but the fact that I am still only taking half of my tiny pill for anxiety. Just .25 mgs in the morning and I haven't had any withdrawal nor any accute anxiety. Woohoo! I will continue it for another week or two as I've done with each level of tapering, then I'll stop. My ultimate goal is to use them only if needed for panic attacks. Frankly, I'm surprised with how easily this has gone.
I filled a large yellow padded envelope with Easter treats and used a green marker to draw grass on the bottom, which was as close as I could figure to make a bulging envelope look like an Easter basket. When I took it to the post office, the clerk said, "aw, grandson?" I nodded a polite yes Which seemed easier than admitting I was sending chocolate, marshmallows and gummi bunnies to my 39 year old son. As always, I hope it brings him a smile when he receives it. Of course I bought two of everything and will give the rest my other son on Sunday. I have a beautiful purple box that my brother made for me. In it are cards and letters to Dylan. A few trinkets too. The first Christmas after he died -in October- his friends still came to visit, bringing him cards and stocking stuffers. They're all still in the box too. Nowadays only I add to the box, not regularly, but sometimes...special days, birthdays, whenever.
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